Various kinds of relationships exist, with monogamy being the most commonly known practice of being married to a single person at a time. Apart from monogamy, there are other types of relationships that people sometimes mistake for one another. Polyamory and polygamy, for instance, can be easily confused.
Although these two relationship types share some similarities, they differ in crucial ways. One of the most significant differences is that polygamy entails being married to multiple partners, while polyamory involves having multiple relationships outside the context of marriage.
Polyamory
In a literal sense, polyamory means many or several loves. It is described as a form of consensual non-monogamy. It involves people engaging in emotional, romantic, and sometimes sexual relationships with more than one person at a time. Sometimes it can include triads or quads which mean three or four people, respectively, engaging in relationships with one another.
Most polyamorous relationships involve pairs of people and not group relationships. Polyamory is not all about sexual intimacy. It is important to note that it is also about emotional intimacy with more than one person at the same time. In polyamorous relationships, awareness and consent are provided by all involved.
Polygamy
The Greek translation of polygamy means married to many spouses. It describes one person married to multiple people. In most instances of polygamy today, an individual is only legally married to one person, while emotionally or spiritually “married” to the other partners. Bigamy is the unlawful crime of being legally married to more than one person.
Other terms fall under polygamy, including polygyny and polyandry. Polygyny involves one man being married to more than one woman and polyandry involves one woman being married to more than one man. Under the umbrella of polygamy, polygyny is more commonly practiced than polyandry.
How Are They Different?
There are a couple of major distinctions between polyamory and polygamy. The easiest distinction to make is within the context of marriage. Polyamorous people can be married but that is not part of the definition. Polygamous relationships do involve marriage. While less common today than in the past, there are people who practice polygamy for religious reasons. The religious component is not typically a part of polyamorous relationships.
The other major distinction involves sexuality and gender. The umbrella term polygamy and the terms that fall beneath it are typically referring to heterosexual people who fall under the gender binary. Polyamory appears to be more inclusive of gender and sexuality differences. Polygamy means one person having multiple partners whereas polyamory can include multiple people having multiple partners. In general, polyamory is open to different types of relationships amongst genders.
Both polygamy and polyamory are less common forms of relationships and tend to be marginalized in society. While there are pockets of places around the world where these types of relationships are more common and even accepted, they are typically rare to find. Because these relationships are unconventional in modern societies, it can be easy to be misinformed about them and even misidentify them. It is important to understand the distinctions between the different types of relationships and become more informed overall, thereby showing greater respect and tolerance to the cultures and religions where they are more common.
Sources
- Kramer, S. (2020, December 7). Polygamy is rare around the world and mostly confined to a few regions. Pew Research Center.
- Rubel, A. N., & Bogaert, A. F. (2014). Consensual Nonmonogamy: Psychological Well-Being and Relationship Quality Correlates. The Journal of Sex Research, 52(9), 961–982. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2014.942722
- Haupert, M. L., Gesselman, A. N., Moors, A. C., Fisher, H. E., & Garcia, J. R. (2016). Prevalence of Experiences With Consensual Nonmonogamous Relationships: Findings From Two National Samples of Single Americans. Journal of Sex &Amp; Marital Therapy, 43(5), 424–440. https://doi.org/10.1080/0092623x.2016.1178675
- Matsick, J. L., Conley, T. D., Ziegler, A., Moors, A. C., & Rubin, J. D. (2013). Love and sex: polyamorous relationships are perceived more favourably than swinging and open relationships. Psychology & Sexuality, 5(4), 339–348. https://doi.org/10.1080/19419899.2013.832934
Michelle is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist working as a counselor for students, faculty, and staff at Abilene Christian University in Texas. She works with athletes, bridging the gap between athletics and mental health at ACU. Michelle ran her own private practice in Austin, Texas where she worked with a diverse population, including couples and families.