The holiday season is overwhelming on social media. Your Instagram or Facebook feed is probably filled with perfect photos of happy family times, big gifts, and beautifully decorated homes. But don’t be fooled – what you see online isn’t always the whole story. Just because someone is posting perfect holiday moments doesn’t mean they’re having the holiday of their dreams. The more curated and frequent their posts the more you should be asking yourself – who are they trying to convince?
The Illusion of the “Perfect” Holiday
On social media, most people present their best selves. It’s human nature to show the highlights and gloss over the lowlights. Sharing edited photos or idealized snippets of events has become the norm. And it’s understandable – vulnerability is hard. Few people are going to post about an awkward family argument or the stress of last-minute shopping. Highlighting happy moments is easier and often more comfortable.
That being said sharing joy isn’t inherently a bad thing. Your friends and family might actually be having a good time and just want to celebrate it. But it’s important to remember what you see on social media is only part of the story. Unless someone is live-streaming their entire holiday you’re only getting selected glimpses of their experience.
Filling in the Gaps
The human brain hates missing pieces – it’s wired to fill in the gaps. This is why when we’re scrolling through social media we often make big assumptions based on very little information. A single photo of a laughing family can lead us to think their entire holiday season is full of joy and harmony and ours is messy and complicated in comparison.
But here’s the truth:
- Social media is a highlight reel, not a documentary.
- What you see is curated, edited, and often idealized.
- Everyone no matter how polished their posts has struggles you don’t see.
The Social Media Diet
If you find yourself comparing your holiday to the ones on your feed – or if scrolling leaves you feeling inadequate or stressed – it might be time for a social media “diet.”
Here are a few practical ways to take a step back:
Set Time Limits
Many smartphones have settings to limit your daily social media usage. These can help you become more aware of how much time you’re spending online.
Take a Break
Consider taking a break entirely for a few days, weeks, or even months. Deleting the apps from your phone can make it easier to unplug.
Focus on the Present
Redirect your attention to your own holiday experience. Instead of obsessing over what others are posting be present with the people and moments in front of you.
Finding Your Own Holiday Joy
Reducing your social media use doesn’t mean you’ll have a picture-perfect holiday, but it can help you shift your focus. By stepping away from the curated feeds of others you can focus more on your own experience – flaws and all.
Social media is a great tool for connection but it doesn’t have to run your life – especially during the holidays. When you let go of comparing you may find you can love your own holiday season.
- Ahmed, W., Bath, P. A., Sbaffi, L., & Demartini, G. (2020). Mental health pandemic during the COVID-19 outbreak: Social media as a window to public mental health. Journal of Medical Internet Research, 22(12), e23361. https://doi.org/10.2196/23361
- Akbari, A., & Shank, D. B. (2023). Mental health coping stories on social media: A causal-inference study of Papageno effect. Computers in Human Behavior, 137, 107436. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2023.107436
- Primack, B. A., Shensa, A., Sidani, J. E., Whaite, E. O., Lin, L. Y., Rosen, D., … & Miller, E. (2017). Social media use and perceived social isolation among young adults in the U.S. American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 53(1), 1-8. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.amepre.2017.01.010
- Saha, K., Torous, J., Ernala, S. K., Rizuto, C., Stafford, A., & De Choudhury, M. (2020). Temporal mental health dynamics on social media. Proceedings of the ACM on Human-Computer Interaction, 4(CSCW2), 1-27. https://doi.org/10.1145/3415207
- Steinfield, C., Ellison, N. B., & Lampe, C. (2008). Social capital, self-esteem, and use of online social network sites: A longitudinal analysis. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, 29(6), 434–445. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appdev.2008.07.002
Alyssa Greene, LPCC has a Masters degree from University of Wisconsin in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. She is a licensed therapist practicing in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Alyssa has experience in working with various populations, but most experience working with eating disorders and body image.