For a couple to seek out a fulfilling sex life and build a strong intimate relationship is natural and healthy. After all, the frequency at which couples have sex is associated with happiness, as physical and emotional intimacy are essential parts of well-being. That said, there’s more to having a satisfying intimate life with your partner than the sheer number of sexual encounters you have together.
Sexual challenges such as low libido, lack of interest, sexual dysfunction, low confidence, inability to reach orgasm, and other factors can cause rifts in an otherwise happy relationship. Intimacy therapy, often known as sex therapy, may be helpful to couples and individuals hoping to overcome their intimacy challenges and improve their sexual satisfaction.
What Is Intimacy Therapy? Definition and Benefits
Intimacy therapy is a form of professional talk therapy that allows couples and individuals to openly discuss and explore their feelings about their sex life. It’s designed to help clients address various physical and psychological factors impacting their sexual satisfaction. Addressing these factors not only improves sexual satisfaction but also contributes significantly to overall mental well-being. The therapist will focus on personal, psychological, medical, and other interpersonal issues with the couple and individually with each partner.
The exploratory process supports the improvement of sexual relationships as couples begin to acknowledge their subtle and often ignored or unnoticed emotions. It also provides the opportunity for couples to manage those feelings that may be uncomfortable to discuss more effectively.
Despite what Hollywood movies may have you believe, an intimacy therapist will not suggest that you open your relationship up to more partners to spice things up. They will also not force you to reveal your past sexual escapades to your spouse or shame you for your sexual issues. Everyone keeps their clothes on during the sessions and the therapist does not teach sexual positions or show anyone how to have sex. The ultimate goal of intimacy therapy is to support couples to overcome roadblocks in their physical and emotional relationship so they can enjoy a happier relationship and a more pleasurable sex life together.
Is Intimacy Therapy Right for You? Consider Your Sexual Health
It is common for both men and women to experience sexual dysfunction. Studies show that 31% of men and 43% of women have experienced some sort of sexual dysfunction throughout their sexual life (Rosen, 2000). Yet for those experiencing a sexual problem, often the last thing they want to do is talk about it.
If shame is keeping you from seeking professional help, know that sexual health is a vital part of overall physical and emotional well-being. Intimacy therapy is intended to get to the bottom of any sexual issues and reverse them. Many couples have discovered the enormous benefit of the guidance of a sex therapist.
If you are questioning whether intimacy therapy is right for you, start by analyzing the parts of your life most affected by your emotions. If your emotional health and quality of life are significantly impacted by your sexual dysfunction, then it is a good time to see a sex therapist. Similarly, if you are having trouble communicating with your partner or feel a lack of intimacy, this serious personal concern necessitates a sex therapist to resolve your needs.
How Intimacy Therapy Works to Address Intimacy Issues
Similar to any other type of psychotherapy, intimacy therapy treats one or more conditions by talking through fears, worries, anxieties, feelings, and experiences. Couples work together with the therapist to find coping mechanisms for dealing with issues, resulting in a healthier and more enjoyable sex life.
The initial session will be either one partner at a time or the couple together. However, it is imperative to understand that the therapist is there to guide both individuals through challenges. They are not there to take one partner’s side or to persuade either person. With each session, your therapist will encourage and nurture the skills you need to better manage and accept the concerns obstructing sexual fulfillment. Intimacy therapy, like all forms of talk therapy, is both supportive and educational. It is meant to encourage change by providing comfort and assurance.
If your therapist believes that a medical issue may be causing the dysfunction you or your partner are experiencing, they may recommend that you contact your physician. Your therapist and doctor can work together to find signs and symptoms contributing to greater sexual issues. After each session, you and your partner will likely be given “homework” to do before your next appointment. These assignments are simply opportunities to remember and utilize what you have discussed with your therapist.
What Happens During Intimacy Therapy?
During intimacy therapy, a certified sex therapist works closely with individuals or couples to identify and address the underlying causes of their intimacy issues. The therapist creates a supportive and non-judgmental environment where clients can feel comfortable discussing their feelings, thoughts, and behaviors related to their sex life.
The therapy process typically involves several key steps. First, the therapist helps clients identify and address any underlying emotional and psychological issues that may be impacting their sexual function. This might include exploring past experiences, current stressors, or mental health concerns such as anxiety or depression. Improving communication and intimacy within the relationship is another crucial aspect of therapy. The therapist guides clients in developing healthier attitudes and behaviors towards sex and intimacy, fostering a more positive and fulfilling sexual relationship.
Specific sexual issues and problems, such as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and low libido, are also addressed during therapy. The therapist works with clients to enhance their sexual experiences and improve overall sexual satisfaction. By focusing on these areas, intimacy therapy helps individuals and couples build a stronger, more intimate connection.
Common Issues Addressed in Intimacy Therapy
Intimacy therapy can address a wide range of issues related to sex and intimacy, providing support and solutions for various challenges. Some of the common issues addressed in intimacy therapy include:
- Sexual Dysfunction: Conditions such as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and low libido can significantly impact sexual satisfaction. Intimacy therapy helps individuals and couples manage and overcome these challenges.
- Intimacy Issues: Lack of emotional connection, communication problems, and trust issues can create barriers to intimacy. Therapy provides tools and strategies to enhance emotional closeness and improve relationship dynamics.
- Sexual Problems: Issues such as painful sex, low sexual desire, and difficulty reaching orgasm are common concerns that can be effectively addressed through therapy.
- Mental Health Issues: Anxiety, depression, and trauma can all impact sexual function and intimacy. Intimacy therapy integrates mental health support to address these underlying issues.
- Relationship Issues: Conflict, communication problems, and infidelity can strain relationships. Therapy helps couples navigate these challenges and rebuild trust and connection.
- Human Sexuality Issues: Concerns related to sexual orientation, gender identity, and sexual health are also addressed in intimacy therapy, providing a comprehensive approach to sexual well-being.
By addressing these diverse issues, intimacy therapy helps individuals and couples develop healthier relationships, improve their sexual health, and enhance their overall well-being.
Who Provides Intimacy Therapy?
Sex therapists typically have a graduate degree and licensure in the mental health field. They also have advanced training in sex therapy and certification by a professional organization such as the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT).
These therapists can conduct sessions in person or online. Some teletherapy platforms, including those providing marriage counseling online, can connect you with an experienced relationship counselor who also has sex therapy certification. With studies indicating that half of the adults experience sexual difficulties, there is no need to feel alone or ashamed in seeking out help. There are professionals out there who can help you lead a satisfying and healthy intimate life.
Sources
- AASECT:: American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists |. (n.d.). https://www.aasect.org/
- Kilmann, P. R., Boland, J. P., Norton, S. P., Davidson, E., & Caid, C. (1986). Perspectives of sex therapy outcome: a survey of AASECT providers. Journal of sex & marital therapy, 12(2), 116–138. https://doi.org/10.1080/00926238608415400
- National Coalition for Sexual Health. (2023, March 15). National Coalition launches new guide to address sexual concerns and increase pleasure. National Coalition for Sexual Health.
- Rosen R. C. (2000). Prevalence and risk factors of sexual dysfunction in men and women. Current Psychiatry Reports, 2(3), 189–195. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11920-996-0006-2
- Simons, J. S., & Carey, M. P. (2001). Prevalence of sexual dysfunctions: results from a decade of research. Archives of sexual behavior, 30(2), 177–219. https://doi.org/10.1023/a:1002729318254
- Spector, I. P., & Carey, M. P. (1990). Incidence and prevalence of the sexual dysfunctions: a critical review of the empirical literature. Archives of sexual behavior, 19(4), 389–408. https://doi.org/10.1007/BF01541933
- Twenge, J. M., Sherman, R. A., & Wells, B. E. (2017). Declines in Sexual Frequency among American Adults, 1989–2014. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 46(8), 2389–2401. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-017-0953-1
Amanda is a wellness writer & enthusiast with over 12 years experience writing in the industry. She has a bachelors degree in Creative Writing from NYU. She is certified by the American College of Sports Medicine and the American School of Nutrition & Personal Training. Amanda is also a celebrity publicist.